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When I decided to pursue a dual graduate degree in divinity and mental health counseling in the mid-1990's, a close colleague offered a warning: Watch out. Those kinds of programs emphasize feelings, and feelings only draw us away from truth and turn us inward. A few months ago, Scot McKnight addressed a recent 'resurgence', you … Continue reading Is empathy sinful?

When therapists enter into the "wild and precious lives" (Mary Oliver) of our clients, we go as guides accompanying courageous explorers of a vast and unknown wilderness. We enter expectantly into scarred and yet sacred terrain. At times, our courageous explorers take us to particular places of remembered grief. At other times, we stand with … Continue reading to the courageous explorer of her soul

I was trained in “story work” and narrative therapy. Intuitively, I started shifting from this years ago. In time, I saw why through the combination of contemplative spirituality, neuroscience, trauma theory, and internal family systems. These awakened me to the significance of the present experience, embodiment, and perhaps most importantly, God’s presence “nearer than our … Continue reading A sabbatical writing project

One of the privileges of therapeutic work is being welcomed into the inner life and sacred story of another human being. Yet, when you engage the story-work with someone who is diagnosably narcissistic, (in much the same way as it works with an addict) you enter through armored walls of certainty protecting cherished securities built … Continue reading Weariness and Hope

Friends, what a year. I was in Pasadena from March 9-13, 2020 teaching a doctor of ministry course for Fuller Seminary on conflict, anxiety, and transforming cultures. In that course sat a physicist-turned-pastor who'd worked in Wuhan, China and who shared stories of the lab thought to be the epicenter of a growing concern. Throughout … Continue reading a short look back at the birth of a book in a pandemic and…what’s next

Manuscript: When Narcissism Comes to Church: Further Reflections Calvin University Noon Lecture Series Sept. 3, 2020, 3:00pm Glad to be with you today, even virtually. My daughter is now a sophomore at Calvin, and when I first got invited to speak I imagined a day on campus, maybe working at Peets with Emma, visiting Jack … Continue reading Further Reflections on Narcissism: My Calvin U Lecture

“We ache for self-acceptance, and it is often a friend accepting us as we are which enables us to begin to accept ourselves. But the acceptance has to be genuine. I want the deepest part of me to be accepted, not my sanitized, plastic, cosmetic self. Only in companionship with fellow pilgrims can I begin … Continue reading The Deeper Acceptance We Long For

May is Mental Health Awareness month. May began by saying goodbye to my dear mother-in-law, whose mental health story is not mine to tell, but whose heartache was evident to all of us who had the privilege of knowing her. Both on the long drive to Iowa and during our time there, I felt a … Continue reading Hello Depression My Old Friend