Some pastors have been asking me to blog a bit on my thoughts re: complementarianism, egalitarianism, male/female roles, why it's become such a polarizing topic, and perhaps even why it's become a new litmus test of fidelity to the Gospel. I'm hesitant to address such a big subject. It's so polarizing. And it's sad to … Continue reading Men, Women, and the Way of the Cross
Moving Beyond Polarization into Mission
I'm moving on. I've spent the last decade-plus in the midst of a sad and frustrating polarization. In other posts, I've talked about it as the Emergent-Resurgence polarization. It's the newest episode in a long series of polarization-episodes. We, Christians, are Academy Award winners in the Polarization Genre. Best debates. Best books. Best blogs. Best … Continue reading Moving Beyond Polarization into Mission
The God who looks you in the eye
I can't look you in the eyes. My client said it to me. I could hear him crying, but he buried his face in his hands. He was drowning in shame from acting out, yet again. I'm repulsive. And then he said something that stunned me. I know God hates me and can't look at … Continue reading The God who looks you in the eye
Why Penn State and Syracuse Matter…
At the Leadership for the Church in Mission conference the week before last, Prof. NT Wright ranted against the media obsession with the Penn State scandal. I get it. For Wright, the American news media is quick to jump on a sensational story, missing the more subtle stories of injustice in the states and around … Continue reading Why Penn State and Syracuse Matter…
To all the women who feel crazy with a narcissist…
Dear "Crazy": Yes, I know you've heard that word over and over again. Remember the night you just couldn't take it any more? He wouldn't listen, but he sat there sitting with that look...you know the look...as if to say, "You know how nuts you sound right now?" And then calmly, rationally, methodically, he laid … Continue reading To all the women who feel crazy with a narcissist…
Pastors Care Too Much
I was talking to a fellow professional in the world of psychology today, a seminary professor and a pastor, a man who has evaluated literally hundreds of candidates for ministry. We were comparing notes. We've both administered tests (like the MMPI and MCMI) that evaluate for pathology. And it took about 3 minutes to discover … Continue reading Pastors Care Too Much
On Self-Deception
Demosthenes once said, "Nothing is easier than self-deceit. For what each man wishes, that he also believes to be true." Listening to James K.A. Smith speak to our Newbigin Fellows this past weekend, I was reminded of the importance of liturgical worship, and one of its core elements - Confession. It's why we need church … Continue reading On Self-Deception
on self-compassion, inner critics, and becoming the beloved | 3
I heard an interview with a struggling baseball player the other day. The radio personality interviewing him said, "It must be tough right now." The player said, "It's always tough. We work in a profession where succeeding 3 out of every 10 times is success. We've got to learn to deal with frequent failure." The … Continue reading on self-compassion, inner critics, and becoming the beloved | 3
On Self-Compassion, Inner Critics, and Becoming the Beloved – Part 2
I love this poem by Fleur Adcock. Take your time and read it. I'll share some thoughts after it... Weathering My face catches the wind from the snow line and flushes with a flush that will never wholly settle. Well, that was a metropolitan vanity, wanting to look young forever, to pass. I was never … Continue reading On Self-Compassion, Inner Critics, and Becoming the Beloved – Part 2
On Self-Compassion, Inner Critics, and Becoming the Beloved – Part 1
I'm beginning a new series of blog posts on self-compassion, recently requested by some friends and clients. It's an odd concept, particularly if you're a Christian. In fact, it may ring of a kind of secularized bastardization of God's love. I'm not going to spend a whole lot of time arguing with those who'd desire … Continue reading On Self-Compassion, Inner Critics, and Becoming the Beloved – Part 1