Can you “narcissist-proof” a system?

If you’re building an organization/community from the ground up, what are steps to ensure it has the best shot of narcissist-proofing itself? Are there parameters you can set for health on the front side? Seth Haines asked this (@sethhaines on Twitter...a must follow), and I've been chewing on it since. His question took me back … Continue reading Can you “narcissist-proof” a system?

In Search of a Spacious Place

He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me. Ps. 18:19 Aren't we all longing for a spacious place? Aren't we all longing for a place to run free, to breathe deeply, to spin round and round with our arms wide open? Don't we all desire relationships where … Continue reading In Search of a Spacious Place

a reminder to take care of you

The older I get, the more the old saying of Jesus "Physician, heal thyself" makes sense. I've spent more than two decades doing a lot of caring. But the more attend to myself, the more sadness I find, the more anxiety I feel, the more trauma I notice. The more I realize that I desperately … Continue reading a reminder to take care of you

Rediscovering Nouwen | On Power and Intimacy

I'm continuing to reflect on Henri Nouwen's 1972 book The Wounded Healer. Now 46 years later, it's as important as ever to wrestle with Nouwen's invitation, particularly when it seems that our political and ecclesial leaders operate more from a posture of power rather than intimacy, particularly as we see our own propensity to live from … Continue reading Rediscovering Nouwen | On Power and Intimacy

Becoming a Wounded Healer

"The great illusion of leadership is to think that one can be led out of the desert by someone who has never been there.” Henri Nouwen I've been re-visiting an old friend recently - Henri Nouwen - who is easily in my Top 5 most formative modern spiritual writers. The lanky Dutchman was a complicated … Continue reading Becoming a Wounded Healer

BETRAYED BY THOSE WHO WE THOUGHT ‘GOT IT’ – NARCISSISM AMONG THE “ENLIGHTENED”

Years ago during the Vietnam protests, researchers studied the level of consciousness and self-awareness of those engaged in protests. The assumption was that the protestors engaged this work out of a larger consciousness, a true love for justice, a global worldview, a sense of compassion. What they found was that the large majority were still … Continue reading BETRAYED BY THOSE WHO WE THOUGHT ‘GOT IT’ – NARCISSISM AMONG THE “ENLIGHTENED”

Grace (and the abuse of grace) for narcissists and abusers

I live daily with a paradox. On the one hand, grace is audacious, extravagant, immediate, and all-embracing. On the other, grace is painful, reconstructive, surgical, and slow. Grace is the deliverance from Egypt and grace is the long, grueling journey through a blistering wilderness. I live with this paradox because of the work I do. … Continue reading Grace (and the abuse of grace) for narcissists and abusers

Bill Hybels and the Future of the Church After #ChurchToo

When I read Phyliss Tickle's The Great Emergence five years ago, I couldn't help but think of that oft-misquoted line about Mark Twain's imminent demise: "Reports of my death are greatly exaggerated." I'd read Regele's The Death of the Church more than a decade before, but after watching the so-called Emergent movement emerge and stumble, never … Continue reading Bill Hybels and the Future of the Church After #ChurchToo