Chuck DeGroat Community and Relationship, Counseling, Failure, False Self, Masculinity, Narcissism, Pastoral Ministry, Pastors, Psychology, Spirituality and Formative Practices, Vocation and Calling

Guest Post: Seeking to Understand the Rise, Fall, and Loss of Young Pastors by Robert Stewart

Bob was born to medical missionary parents in Burundi, Africa.  The father of six, he and his pastoral counselor wife, Shari, share a psychiatric practice in Louisville, KY and have long worked in the support and care of missionaries and pastors both here and abroad. A hundred years from now I’m sure that our descendants … Continue reading Guest Post: Seeking to Understand the Rise, Fall, and Loss of Young Pastors by Robert Stewart

Chuck DeGroat Advent, Community and Relationship, Counseling, God is near, Spirituality and Formative Practices

When Advent Groaning Doesn’t Let Up In Time For Christmas

Jesus waits and longs with you. I shared this thought recently with a woman whose Advent waiting has lasted a few years. The trauma of abuse, the ongoing pain of a divorce, and the seasonal expectation of all things joyful and triumphant were conspiring against her, manifesting in some desperation, even despair. In the prior … Continue reading When Advent Groaning Doesn’t Let Up In Time For Christmas

Chuck DeGroat Community and Relationship, Counseling, Culture, Narcissism, Pastoral Ministry, Pastors, Psychology, Spirituality and Formative Practices

Can you “narcissist-proof” a system?

If you’re building an organization/community from the ground up, what are steps to ensure it has the best shot of narcissist-proofing itself? Are there parameters you can set for health on the front side? Seth Haines asked this (@sethhaines on Twitter...a must follow), and I've been chewing on it since. His question took me back … Continue reading Can you “narcissist-proof” a system?

Chuck DeGroat Community and Relationship, Culture, Divided heart, God is near, Psychology, Spirituality and Formative Practices, Vocation and Calling

In Search of a Spacious Place

He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me. Ps. 18:19 Aren't we all longing for a spacious place? Aren't we all longing for a place to run free, to breathe deeply, to spin round and round with our arms wide open? Don't we all desire relationships where … Continue reading In Search of a Spacious Place

Chuck DeGroat abuse, Community and Relationship, Culture, God is near, Hypocrisy, Lament, Narcissism, Psychology, Spirituality and Formative Practices, Vocation and Calling

a reminder to take care of you

The older I get, the more the old saying of Jesus "Physician, heal thyself" makes sense. I've spent more than two decades doing a lot of caring. But the more attend to myself, the more sadness I find, the more anxiety I feel, the more trauma I notice. The more I realize that I desperately … Continue reading a reminder to take care of you

Chuck DeGroat Community and Relationship, Counseling, Culture, Failure, False Self, Narcissism, Pastors, Psychology, Spirituality and Formative Practices, Vocation and Calling

Rediscovering Nouwen | On Power and Intimacy

I'm continuing to reflect on Henri Nouwen's 1972 book The Wounded Healer. Now 46 years later, it's as important as ever to wrestle with Nouwen's invitation, particularly when it seems that our political and ecclesial leaders operate more from a posture of power rather than intimacy, particularly as we see our own propensity to live from … Continue reading Rediscovering Nouwen | On Power and Intimacy

Chuck DeGroat Community and Relationship, Counseling, Culture, Failure, False Self, Narcissism, Pastors, Psychology, Spirituality and Formative Practices, Theology, Vocation and Calling

Becoming a Wounded Healer

"The great illusion of leadership is to think that one can be led out of the desert by someone who has never been there.” Henri Nouwen I've been re-visiting an old friend recently - Henri Nouwen - who is easily in my Top 5 most formative modern spiritual writers. The lanky Dutchman was a complicated … Continue reading Becoming a Wounded Healer

Chuck DeGroat abuse, Community and Relationship, Counseling, Psychology

Believing Women in an Age of Narcissism

(Trigger Warning: If you've been sexually abused or assaulted, please bear in the mind that this piece includes disturbing details of sexual trauma) Step back from the political drama for a moment and consider a woman I saw for counseling years ago (with details changed). She's 39, and I've just officiated her wedding to a … Continue reading Believing Women in an Age of Narcissism