Manuscript: When Narcissism Comes to Church: Further Reflections Calvin University Noon Lecture Series Sept. 3, 2020, 3:00pm Glad to be with you today, even virtually. My daughter is now a sophomore at Calvin, and when I first got invited to speak I imagined a day on campus, maybe working at Peets with Emma, visiting Jack … Continue reading Further Reflections on Narcissism: My Calvin U Lecture
I See You
Something felt different as I emerged from the waves a week ago. My feet were back in familiar sand that held a thousand memories, from boogie-boarding with Dad to seminary study sessions to my daughters first introduction to the mighty force of the Atlantic. Within 30 seconds of dropping my bags I was body-surfing, carried … Continue reading I See You
Podcasts Podcasts Podcasts
I'm back from vacation, and doing my best to sort things after a full few months since the release of When Narcissism Comes to Church. In the last months, I've done dozens of podcasts and webinars. You can find them all with a Google search. Below are a few of my favorites. Enjoy! BOUNDARIES AND … Continue reading Podcasts Podcasts Podcasts
Guest Post: Seeking to Understand the Rise, Fall, and Loss of Young Pastors by Robert Stewart
Bob was born to medical missionary parents in Burundi, Africa. The father of six, he and his pastoral counselor wife, Shari, share a psychiatric practice in Louisville, KY and have long worked in the support and care of missionaries and pastors both here and abroad. A hundred years from now I’m sure that our descendants … Continue reading Guest Post: Seeking to Understand the Rise, Fall, and Loss of Young Pastors by Robert Stewart
When Our Heroes Fail Us
Years ago, I heard Henri Nouwen on an old recording tell the story of his path from teaching in the Ivy League to living in a community of people with disabilities in Toronto. He tells the story of a female associate of Jean Vanier who surprised him with a visit on a busy day for … Continue reading When Our Heroes Fail Us
Narcissism is not a “leadership style”
I had a sick, here-we-go-again feeling while reading Kate Shellnutt's Feb 7 piece on the removal of Steve Timmis as leader of Acts 29. But what stopped me in my tracks was this paragraph late in the piece: According to a copy of a 2015 letter sent to Acts 29 president Chandler and obtained by … Continue reading Narcissism is not a “leadership style”
When Advent Groaning Doesn’t Let Up In Time For Christmas
Jesus waits and longs with you. I shared this thought recently with a woman whose Advent waiting has lasted a few years. The trauma of abuse, the ongoing pain of a divorce, and the seasonal expectation of all things joyful and triumphant were conspiring against her, manifesting in some desperation, even despair. In the prior … Continue reading When Advent Groaning Doesn’t Let Up In Time For Christmas
Can you “narcissist-proof” a system?
If you’re building an organization/community from the ground up, what are steps to ensure it has the best shot of narcissist-proofing itself? Are there parameters you can set for health on the front side? Seth Haines asked this (@sethhaines on Twitter...a must follow), and I've been chewing on it since. His question took me back … Continue reading Can you “narcissist-proof” a system?
The Deeper Acceptance We Long For
“We ache for self-acceptance, and it is often a friend accepting us as we are which enables us to begin to accept ourselves. But the acceptance has to be genuine. I want the deepest part of me to be accepted, not my sanitized, plastic, cosmetic self. Only in companionship with fellow pilgrims can I begin … Continue reading The Deeper Acceptance We Long For
Ministry Exhaustion
My heart was hard, and my mind was fuzzy. Nothing proved a comfort, and I remained for that wretched season shut in on all sides, stifled, gasping for breath. Regardless, the grace of God arrives rushing to the soul when its endurance is exhausted. Of a dreary morning, I stood gazing round the courtyard, pleading … Continue reading Ministry Exhaustion